I have a long history of working with both proud participants in BDSM culture and victims of past trauma/sexual abuse and have often been asked if past abuse- especially in early childhood- “causes” one to become “kinky” or even “perverted” as an adult? It has been my observation over the years that the BDSM community seems to be populated with more survivors of sexual trauma or abuse than their non-kinky counterparts. Is this because past sexual-abuse causes one to become “kinky” or is it because participation in BDSM often fosters a deeper level of self-awareness, an acceptance or willingness to explore ones deeper emotions and motivations allowing them, as a population, to acknowledge and work through past abuse/trauma more readily?
Even though we may have been wounded by others, it was
now our responsibility to heal past hurts.
Individuals suffering from complex post traumatic stress disorder with histories of chronic repeated trauma in their most formative years can become “children of the dark”, feeling contaminated, wandering through life searching for their soul. Going through the motions of living, yet feeling they don’t exist. Alienated from human connection, yet desperately seeking a place to rest. (more…)
To believe that we should all be striving for positivity all the time is to profoundly misunderstand the nature of human existence