Is Sexually Unusual or “Kinky”, Normal?

What is “normal”? This is the question many clients ask when they first come to see any therapist or counselor, regardless of what the subject in question is.

Is this “normal!?” is the fundamental question asked of most sex therapists/relationship counselors on a client’s first visit. Since shame often pervades this question, anyone who thinks his or her sexual predilections are unusual often fear being shamed during therapy.

Over the years I have had the privilege of hearing the full range of angst, bewilderment and frustration from clients regarding their own erotic natures. My role is never to judge but rather to help my clients make meaning of it all. Ultimately, what’s important is that individuals or couples find acceptance of their erotic makeup and healthy ways for its expression within their own lives and value systems, free from shame or guilt.

And the answer to the question “is this normal”? It’s almost always “yes.”